BYU NewsNet - Viewpoint: Election Seuss-Speak

In the 50th year of the Cat in the Hat,

It's time for elections! Now, how about that?

Now, how would the Doctor describe the foray?

What would he think? And what would he say?

Soon starts the season of "Please vote for me!"

The fliers are flying! The treats are all free!

Students in boxes, all a-yell for their champ!

Loud music blasts from the opposite camp!

They wave their Howcoolzles all high in the air

(Saying their candidate's best! None compare!)

They target the freshman, all safe in their dorms,

And taking out trash has become the new norm.

Now comes the time where you

Vote!

If you have an issue that's just got your goat.

(Or you think the RB needs its very own moat.)

Now, students are saying "Well, why should we vote?

Last year, we did NOT get the RB a moat.

Instead, a disqualification transpired,

And Hendricks, the student adviser, got fired!"

"So please, if you will, show us why not to doubt

Inspire us to be election-devout!"

This is what I suggest:

It is transparency.

Do away with election's backdoor "committees"!

Let elections be open, with nothing to hide!

The "committee's" not veiling the rat-out inside!

Now candidates don't fear the secretive tattle

From opponents who just want the upper-hand battle!

"Well, they made a Web site! That's really not fair!

And you must print at Kinkos! You can't price-compare

For fliers!

For music!

For campaignination!

For winning the freshmen's unswayed admiration!

"No, you must not do that.

You must do what we say.

Or, like Hendricks, we'll just

Put you neatly away."

Let's hope this election year ends all just fine,

Or trust in the process will further decline.

Our four candidates that are running this race

Are ol' John and Jason (of familiar face)

They promise to put "syllabuses" online

And books will be cheaper (a thought that's divine).

We've got Devon Glassman and Miss Summer Price

They plan pre-game breakfasts!

(Now, wouldn't that be nice?)

They want to podcast some campus events,

(So the Bookstore TV has a nice supplement.)

As for whom you should vote for, when comes voting day,

We have this advice:

(We have nothing to say.)

Laurie is full of nonsensical whims of this sort

If she caused you offense, you can give a retort.

lauriejfrost@gmail.com